Tantra and its surroundings: the search of the self among eastern and western Knowledge

Between 2008 and 2009 I learned about and began practicing the Feldenkrais neuromotor method and Jeet Kune Do, Bruce Lee’s martial art. These are the two directions that have guided, up until today, my desire to discover wellness practices, reconnecting with the deep self. As I explored, I came across clues that seemed to speak to me of an ancient and primordial knowledge to which, more or less, all contemporary awakening practices seem to owe something in terms of principles and intuitions. In 2017, by chance, I came across a word: Tantra.

I understood the depth of this word, sensing that behind it there are gigantic oceans of millenary wisdom, impossible to label. I also understood that the tantric tradition was altered, if not downright polluted.

So, inspired by Tenet22, I thought of dealing with this topic with the help of someone who knows this tradition well and can explain its reworkings in the West, updating them and identifying the applications that are useful and experimental for us today. Coincidences, which do not exist, made me meet a fellow countrywoman of mine. In reality, Pierfrancesco Lostia and Chiara Sideri have not yet met in person. They started talking, in a sort of virtual living room, then deciding to put the first part of their dialogues on paper.

What pushed me, Pierfrancesco, a writer and researcher of holistic practices for more than 15 years, to turn to Chiara to address a thorny and at the same time fascinating topic, was not my sight, which I had lost for some time. What guided me was the voice of the interlocutor and the frankness of her words. The mouth is the door to the soul, according to some. Here is Chiara’s voice, in my opinion, lies much less than the eyes.

Chiara Sideri, to whom I entrust the guide of our journey together, was born in Sardinia in 1980. She lives and works in Milan, where she has a professional studio. She is a Doctor of Motor Sciences, an expert in body- working, a sexologist consultant with ten years of professional experience behind her. When she talks about her work and in particular about her studies on the East on the ancient prehistoric world, her voice has a dual nuance. Sunny, soft and reassuring, but at times sharp. In those moments, her voice recalls the Gennargentu mountain range, which is a bit of a symbol of our Sardinia. It is as if in Chiara’s voice, when she intends to underline important, crucial aspects, the rays of her inner sun were contained in ice cubes. Precisely the optical illusion that, not infrequently, can be observed in central Sardinia, where the Gennargentu mountain range rises.

Now, I will let Chiara guide us into her world and the traditions of Eastern Knowledge.

«To be precise, I am a scholar and practitioner of some aspects of Eastern practices. However, I must tell you, Pierfrancesco, that I will never talk to you about my encounter with Tantra».

Why wouldn’t you talk about it?

«I don’t place it on such a high step in the scale of experiences I have had. Instead, I will talk to you about archeo-sounds, about works in nature, about an instinctive, spontaneous dance, typical of the most ancient man. All things that, if you look closely, can also be tantric».

Chiara smiles, adding:

“I would like to make a sort of challenge, a game if you like, beyond this article… Tantra…

Can we drop this name? Get rid of it, I mean. Later it will be clear why I say this. You see, I encountered this practice in a very superficial context, purely linked to commercial purposes. Then I ran away and I took this word, Tantra, with me. Once safe, I took it and washed it of all the dirt that covered it. I cuddled it, cared for it and listened to it. So, I discovered that its meaning was and still can be much higher and nobler than we think.”

Good. Tantra is a polluted path, Chiara. Can you tell us what it really is or at least what it was originally? And we must start immediately with a debated and controversial aspect. Most people identify the practice with sex, whether sacred or not. But what was the role, if there was one, of sexuality in the ancient practice?

“I will not go into long or detailed definitions here about what was supposed to be a secret and inaccessible path. To understand the role, if one can call it that, of sex in Tantra, one must adopt an open and unbiased approach. We must rely on reliable academic sources, taking into account that the interpretations of Tantra and its relationship with sexuality are vast and complex. So much so that some scholars believe that explicit sexual practices were added later to the pre-Vedic Tantric texts, while others maintain that they were present originally. We must remember that we are talking about an occult tradition composed of arcane disciplines. This means that its teachings are secret or hidden and cannot or at least should not be disclosed to the uninitiated.

Traditionally, Tantric initiates were sworn to secrecy about what they learned, so many of the teachings were never even written down and were passed on by word of mouth from guru to duly qualified disciple or sometimes whispered in the ear with the request for absolute secrecy”.

So, what is happening today?

«Today we have gone from something elitist to the spread of a vastness of tantric movements or centers, in the different countries of Europe. This can be verified, simply by surfing the internet. And no less important is the presence of texts translated and published in pocket format, which have nothing to do with the ancient tantric writings. With translations, let’s say, generally very mediocre.

As Padoux claims: the tantric reality is in fact rooted in Indian soil and cannot be exported, we have taken from India only what we needed, reimporting it. It could be said that this was a sort of appropriation of some Indian elements well selected and adapted to our century.

You know, Pier, the easily available literature on Buddhism, Taoism, Tantra and other forms of spirituality, has led to excessive knowledge of cultures and religions certainly increasing the level of tolerance. However, the widespread dissemination of once sacred and hard-to-obtain knowledge has also given rise to the presumption of knowing everything, to the belief that we are further along in our spiritual quest than we really are, and that we do not need to undergo difficult tests of spiritual transformation. “

Do we pretend from a weekend little jogging to make us feel enlightened, then?

“Trungpa said: Our vast collections of knowledge and experience are just part of the ego’s display, part of the grandiose quality of the ego. We show them to the world and in doing so reassure ourselves that we exist, safe and secure as “spiritual” people. But we have simply created a shop. An antique shop”.

What is the true meaning of Tantra and the original sense of the practice?

“The term Tantra simply means a system of essential rituals or teachings, a system well documented in a Sanskrit scripture also called tantra. It is not a philosophy or a religion in the dogmatic sense of the term, and it is not opposed to either. It is an essential and spiritual experience. It is religion in the sense of “tying,” “tying,” reestablishing the bond between the low and the high, between heaven and earth, between sex and divine consciousness. In its essence, Tantra is a science: a unified experience of body, soul, and mind. It shows us a spiritual path whose practice generates a verifiable expansion of consciousness, allowing liberation to happen.

Every Master knows that he cannot teach anything new, since we are all part of the same divine matrix. However, through his words, he tries to break down the wall that we have built throughout our lives, with patience and love. This is a wonderful work, the fruit of a pure heart that beats with love towards everything and everyone, without distinction. A true Master transmits his powerful energy through liberating teachings and every message, word or gesture is carefully considered to achieve defined objectives, based on archaic knowledge. Even if we often do not perceive their meaning because of our coarseness, every word is a vehicle of universal love that transforms the heart, allowing the divine light to expand and the energy to rise to more subtle levels. These wonderful teachings, which for millennia have been reserved for a select few, are now accessible to everyone. Unfortunately, the teachings are often distorted and reduced to simple sexual practices, dirtying their deepest meaning and allowing coarse information to pass. It is important to clarify that massages, cheap sex, depravity and lust have nothing to do with Tantra. And the associations of explicitly sexual images, far from the true meaning handed down by the ancients, lead to error and transmit the wrong message to the senses, which become excited instead of transforming desire into subtle and divine energies. “

Neo Tantra

At this point, Chiara believes it is appropriate to distinguish the current teaching, called Neo Tantra, and the original tradition of Tantra.

«If I were to take someone who has attended Neo Tantra seminars or read books on the same and transported them back in time, to a real context of the tradition, a ceremony or a teaching session, they would probably be shocked to see how different the two approaches are. Unless they have participated in a real tantric ceremony, in India. Which is very rare, as in modern India an authentic tantric ceremony takes place in very private contexts.

Be careful: Neo Tantra satisfies a very important need in Western society and I would never say otherwise. But it is often superimposed on the classical tradition, distorting the latter. I once read a book on Amazon about tantric sex, which claimed to draw teachings and practices from classical tantra. And as I browsed through it, I discovered that none of those practices could be found in an original tantric text. This shows how many misunderstandings and falsehoods are spread. However, there are Neo Tantra teachers who maintain and respect the difference between these two fields.”

Who did invent this modern term?

“When I refer to Neo Tantra, I refer to what is followed in the West mainly by the teachings of Osho. When we find ourselves in a seminar today on Tantra that talks about relationship, that refers to sexuality by promising intimacy and deeper connection, followed by longer orgasms or referring to kundalini energy etc etc, what we are seeing is NEO TANTRA: a cultural mix of other spiritual paths and New Age practices dressed up as Tantra, which has been sexualized for the Western palate. A Tantra this, millions of miles away from the traditional one.”

Can Neo Tantra be helpful?

“The answer is yes. Even after all of the above. Because I think it has an important role to play, for those who are trying to break free from the constraints of their conditioned experience of gender, sexuality, relationships, etc.

So, it can be a space to enable: deeper intimacy, more fulfilling relationships, better, more intimate connections, and why not? Much better sex! There is nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. After all, I have been working in the field of sexuality for ten years and of course I support professionally run spaces, where people can access more freedom of personal power and love, through healthy sexuality and relationships.

So, let’s call it sacred sexuality, let’s call it spiritual sex if we want, sex with bells, incense and candles, but for me, I would love it if we could lose the association with Tantra because the practices taught by the philosophy espoused in the 80s, are not found anywhere in the original texts. And frankly they are not related to it”.

What lies behind sacred, conscious sexuality?

«By calling something “sacred”, conscious, we immediately establish the duality of something that is the other side, that is, of being profane or unconscious. This is the nature of language, the nature of the human mind to put labels when it identifies something, when it states what it believes it is, it immediately distinguishes it from everything else and immediately creates the opposite. Therefore, when we call something sacred sexuality or conscious sexuality, we are also saying that there is a profane and unconscious sexuality. I base this on my experience and background. I believe that everything, everything, is sacred and profane. What makes the distinction between the two is our belief and our thought, since nothing is intimately sacred or intimately profane. In this regard, I would like to point out how words often, if used unconsciously, can hide feelings of shame and guilt. I find many examples of this in my work, where couples often hide behind the veil of “sacred sexuality”. As if these words condoned or legitimized a certain type of desire or longing. Jealousy, lust, etc.

Cit. “IT’S OKAY FOR ME TO HAVE SEVERAL LOVERS A DAY, IT’S OKAY FOR ME TO GO FROM ONE WOMAN TO ANOTHER BECAUSE IT’S SACRED IT’S OKAY FOR ME TO HAVE TANTRIC SEX WITH MY STUDENTS BECAUSE IT’S A SACRED THING WE’RE DOING”

What if it wasn’t sacred? Would it still be okay?

«In my experience, the words sacred sexuality or sexual shamanism are often used to license behaviors that would result in shame, guilt, or the feeling of having done something wrong. So, a pinch of spirituality makes it all more palatable and more legitimate».

And so, Chiara?

«Why not free yourself from all conventions and admit your desires openly, freely, honestly, and shamelessly without hiding behind labels?

Let’s think about it».

What is not said

«Now I will report some key words that no one takes into account, when it comes to somatic spiritual practices as in this case. Tantra understood as a classical tradition, implies:

Depth, sacrifice.

Tantra represents an arduous and demanding path, which requires discipline Depth and sacrifice as mentioned, total dedication to inner research. Certainly not a recipe for easy pleasure or immediate gratification.

Practice, presence.

The guidance of an expert master is necessary to move in a discipline where daily life is made up of many constantly present micro-practices.

Time, consistency

Tantra is not a magic stick to solve problems. Change requires time, effort and constant commitment.

Sex no limit

Tantric sexuality is not synonymous with promiscuity or being unbridled, but a sacred act that requires: respect, awareness and discipline.

Authenticity

It is necessary to study original Sanskrit texts, with the help of expert scholars and reliable translations, if you want to approach Tantra correctly. The guidance of an authentic master, who dedicates his life and practice to teaching, is research that requires patience. It is necessary to embrace the discipline in its entirety, knowing that it includes meditations, study, rituals and ascetic practices».

What would you recommend to those who want to approach the authentic tradition of this practice?

«Tantra is not for everyone. It requires a particular predisposition and total commitment. If you are not ready to face the challenges that this path entails, it is better to explore other spiritual paths more suited to your needs. Regardless of our good intentions, we must understand that these practices cannot be applied in an original way to our distant context as they pass through us generations, eras, evolutions. We are distant even at the level of sensory perception, just think of the most ancient men in history who observed the stars, listened to the earth in deep connection. So we cannot have the presumption of being tantric or of “doing” Tantra. I say this to be aware of the historical context in which we find ourselves with respect to millenary practices. We must deal with our daily life with our labeling and this must not be forgotten. It is always an invasion, a revision, an adaptation of what comes to us from the past and can never be exactly the same as someone often wants us to believe. We respect our time, our here and now.”

The role of women in Tantra?

Respect and Honor

«The beating heart of tantric literature, when it speaks of women, is a hymn to respect and honor. Not a simple piece of advice, but a categorical imperative, repeated with fervor in every text. This respect is not an optional for men, but a fundamental pillar of the tradition. And it is not an abstraction: the texts clearly specify how to honor women, and what consequences those who violate these rules suffer. This combination of respect and clarity has been an irresistible magnet for many women, who have contributed significantly to shaping this tradition».

Tantric Union

«It is an essential characteristic of the tradition. In its most classical branch, it does not provide for a single practice but a set of acts inundated with sacredness that are performed in different rituals. This is to highlight the rigor, complexity and profound connection linked to each action performed. The aim is to guarantee a state of absolute presence and uncontaminated clarity».

Language

«An aspect that is almost unknown (it is not discussed in seminars) and that I believe to be of great importance, is language. It has a historical imprint, a notable impact since our time is very distant from that of Tantra. This aspect has value as testimony of a tradition, of a science
very distant from our languages».

And is it ignoring the role of language in Tantra that leads us astray?

«Yes, that’s right. The use that was made of it then was completely different. An indirect and metaphorical language. A tantric text is a bit like a living organism: its meaning evolves and enriches itself over time, as those who study it deepen their path of awareness. The ambiguity of tantric language is intentional, and is revealed gradually thanks to the guidance of a master who reveals the subtle meanings hidden behind the symbols. It is important to underline that references to the Tantric Union can have multiple interpretations, often much deeper and more complex than a simple sexual act.” It is necessary to abandon superficial readings and deepen the knowledge of the tradition through rigorous research and original Sanskrit sources. Only in this way will it be possible to appreciate the complexity and depth of tantra, which goes far beyond mere sexuality, to embrace a mystical dimension of great value».

Sexology and Sacred Sexuality

Can you distinguish the two aspects and explain what results a person can achieve with a holistic – tantric approach and a sexological, medical one?

«As a sexologist and body counselor expert in emotional bodywork, I would like to emphasize that sexual dysfunctions cannot be solved with a simple New Age-style seminar, but much more is needed».

What are the right approaches? What is the residual role, if any, of Tantra?

«Let’s make a premise. Sexual dysfunctions derive from a combination of factors: hormonal, physiological, psychological, relational and physical. Tantra, although interesting and potentially beneficial, does not have the skills and tools to address the complexity of these problems.

Most seminar leaders do not have specific training to treat sexual dysfunctions and often they are figures without adequate psychological and medical preparation.

In seminars, there is a tendency to propose a superficial and simplistic approach to sexuality, focusing attention on ritual techniques or tracing purely energetic causes, but without delving into the causes that trigger the dysfunction.

Sexuality is a complex and delicate aspect. Therefore, it cannot be reduced only to a question of energy or blockage of the chakras. Often, unfortunately, this is what happens in tantra seminars. And this is what is frequently reported to me by people who present a real dysfunctional problem (I am referring to my male and female clients) and to whom it has been indicated that it is a blockage or energy issues. In this way, there is the risk of trivializing serious problems and causing further emotional damage, if not real distress for the couple».

What to do in case of sexual dysfunction?

«If you suffer from a sexual dysfunction, it is essential to turn to a qualified professional A sexologist psychotherapist or a counselor who is an expert in the field. Therefore, to professionals who use an integrated approach to therapy for sexual dysfunction, an approach that can combine psychological, sexological and even medical interventions».

Personalized Journey

«Each case is unique and requires a specific path for the person that takes into account their needs and characteristics».

So, in this sense, can Tantra also be included?

«In some cases, Tantra can be used as a complementary tool, within a therapeutic path for sexual dysfunction, if they were diagnosed, but it is important that this occurs under the guidance of a professional who knows how to integrate Tantra with other therapeutic approaches in a safe and responsible way.

Therefore, if you are struggling with sexual or couple dysfunction, do not look for the solution in the NEO TANTRA seminar because Tantra is not an aphrodisiac massage, a shortcut, but a complex and demanding spiritual journey that requires seriousness and an expert guide who can certainly offer you a way to improve your life but for diagnoses, turn to a professional who can help you address the root causes of your problems to find well- being and satisfaction in intimacy”.

Chiara, how to choose the right facilitator?

“I will mention some of the fundamental characteristics of the professional in the sexology field:

  • In-depth knowledge of human sexuality: that is, anatomy, physiology, psychology and relational dynamics.
  • Understanding of sexual and couple dysfunctions, etiology, risk factors and treatment methods.
  • The holistic and personalized approach that considers the person in his / her totality, taking into account physical, emotional, relational and spiritual aspects.
  • Use of evidence-based techniques, when necessary, such as doctors, psychologists and psychotherapists, to guarantee a complete and multidisciplinary intervention».

Conclusions

More to add, Chiara?

«I would like to conclude with a reflection by Pannikar:

We must learn to read again: this time not printed books, but the book of nature, which does not only contain woods and rivers, but a direct vision of the world in which we find ourselves. Everyone can see but only through direct contemplation of reality. To really see I must forget that I am seeing. Otherwise I only think of seeing, I only imagine seeing a beautiful landscape. But authentic seeing is immediate. What you see is something never seen, unexplored: Bhakti, here means “love” and denotes the centrifugal force of coming out of oneself and consuming oneself like fire.

Chiara Sideri, Pierfrancesco Lostia

 

Chiara Sideri

Doctor of Motor Sciences, Professional Competence Coach: she has a solid scientific basis that fuels her holistic approach. She supports people by directing them towards a balanced lifestyle from a nutritional and physical education point of view. She offers personalized protocols completed by an intelligent use of Phytotherapy. Helping Relationship Operator with a Body and Energy Approach: following the person-centered approach, she accompanies you on an intimate and profound counseling path and associates it with the Somatic Emotional Experience. Instructor in Holistic and Oriental disciplines (ACSI CONI): she shares oriental wisdom for mental and physical balance. Sexologist Consultant and Sexual Educator (SISES) Expert in Sexology Related to Eating Disorders at the Wellness European Association: she investigates the interconnection between sexuality and nutrition, offering expert support complemented by scientific literature. Psychosomatic Emotional Body Worker: immersive experiences that use art, movement and music, Sound Therapy, Body Mind Centering. Psychology scholar, passionate about the prehistoric world.
Contacts: sideri.lovelab@gmail.com